Posted by: Ben S. on October 24th, 2010The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.
Karl Malone will play for the Utah Jazz this season. I know, it sounds crazy but the rumors are swirling. Alright, I confess that it was me that started the rumors. Here are a few more of my predictions:
-Shaq designates a new nickname for K-Fes as “The Big Beavis”
-Andrei Kirilenko narrowly avoids injury when a janitor mistakes him for a mop
-New Jazz TV commentator Matt Harpring requires medical attention after bruising his fist on Kobe Bryant’s face
-Gordon Hayward reveals that he is the love-child of John Crotty and former Starzz center Margo Dydek
-Craig Bolerjack has an embarrassing moment when one of his dimple implants falls off while on the air
-A scandal involving Bear results in disciplinary action after inappropriate pictures of fur and silent voice-mails are released to the public
-While on a road trip, Gordon Hayward and Jeremy Evans barely escape injury when K-Fes mistakens them for french fries
-I am chosen to be a 2010-2011 Jazzbot
The Jazz just might have what it takes to have a special season. Several of the returning players seem to have made strides and improvements in their games. Milsap’s jumper, Fesenko’s conditioning and focus, CJ’s consistency, and AK’s determination and hustle just to name a few. And as good as D-Will already is, he is still getting better. The new players should be able to shore up some of the Jazz weaknesses they’ve shown the last couple seasons. Jefferson adds length and durability, Raja will provide defense and leadership, and Evans could play the same role here as the “Birdman” does for Denver. Francisco Elson adds size and depth in the frontcout, especially until Memo gets back. Hayward could be the X-factor. It will probably take some time, but he has shown signs of being a good all-around player. And of course, don’t forget about the Mailman.
Hold on tight Jazz fans because this season looks to be a fun one. And if I’m selected to be a Jazzbot, I’ll blog about some secrets I keep close to the vest such as the link to a website showing John Stockton dunk and the identity of the Ute fan that poured beer on Max Hall’s family. Stay tuned…
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