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My Wife Thinks The Lockout is Over
Posted by: Ben S. on October 26th, 2011
The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.My wife thinks the NBA lockout is over. Last night I was flipping through channels and stopped for a moment on NBATV to watch an old Suns/Sonics playoff game. I was entertained by the match-ups of Barkley vs. Kemp, KJ vs. the Glove, and Danny Ainge vs. the refs. While I was watching the game my wife walked in and said, “Oh no! The Jazz season started? I thought they were on strike?” I thought she was joking so I played along and told her this was Seattle and Pheonix and that the Jazz’s first game wasn’t until Friday. She shared her disappointment that the season had finally started and that I’d be back watching several games during the week instead of spending time with her. Still not sure if she was serious or not, I replied, ” I’ll still spend time and pay attention to you; just not until next spring, honey.” She bought it. So here I am in a situation that I’m not sure how to handle. How can I take advantage of this?
I guess there are several different avenues I can take. The first one is to use this bit of misinformation to get a free night out with the fellas. Simply tell her that I’m going to the game with a friend and I’ll be home late and to not wait up. Another opportunity I might have is to play an entire season of NBA Live 2011. My wife will think I’m down watching the game while really I’m down playing the game. But the route which I think I’ll choose is to try to earn some brownie points. When she asks if there is a game that I plan on watching on a given night I’ll say, “Yes, there is a Jazz game tonight. However, I choose to spend the evening with you instead.” That should help repair the strain on our relationship that we’ve had ever since the “buttercup incident” several weeks back.
I guess this stunt could possibly back-fire on me. If and when she finds out that the lockout is still in effect, my wife will feel upset, angry, and betrayed. But sometimes it’s fun taking risks and living on the edge and I feel that this is one of those times. Then I will tell her that the first month of the season has been cancelled putting her in a good mood knowing that I can focus on the real important things in our lives: family, career, and planking.
LET ME KNOW WHEN IT’S OVER
While I tried to understand the issues at hand during the first few weeks of the lockout, I’ve since become tired and bored of the specifics. Just let me know when it’s over so I can get back to watching NBA hoops. Same deal goes for college football conference expansion. And pregame shows. And dinner preparations. Just let me know when its over so we can get down to business.
disclaimer: My wife is an amazing girl and I’m lucky that we hooked up. She is way smarter, cooler, harder working, tougher, and a way better planker than I am.
Replies: 7
Views: 660
7 Responses
Its over (tomorrow)
I hear ya man. I remind my wife everyday that I should be watching basketball. However I think she’s caught on and noticed that I’ve increased my football/baseball intake. Now that MLB is over, I really need hoops to start. I’m having Jimmer withdrawals!
Cards came back and won in the 11th inning! So technically, baseball is not over
(Ben: you can ZAP that spanm with your edit button.)
Better think again.
Billy Goat walked out and Fish Face has flown the coop to tinsel town.
Paycheck #2 for the players gone…about $4b, yes billion, over the life of the proposed deal.
I was afraid the owners would cave into the players contract demands again, in favor of a 50% BRI, which just kills the small market teams.
A tough luxury tax, with the loss of midlevel exemption, for tax payers, will help level the playing field.
If you want your Jazz to be competitive in the future, you may have to sacrifice a year to do it.
Jazzaholic
Yeah I heard the bad news. Looks like this thing is going to drag out. Like Jazzaholic says, as long as they get it done right it will be worth the missed games. I don’t see any way that the owners cave to the players but I also didn’t see any way that the Mavs would beat the Heat. JSpring is right about the dilemma we’ll be in if hoops hasn’t started when football and baseball are gone. And to make matters worse, my wife found out that I wasn’t being 100% truthful with her. Not sure who tipped her off. Luckily the sofa is comfortable.
Rumors had Fish Face, with the backing of the Black Mumba, wanting a 50/50 split to try to end the lockout, but Billy Goat and the agents, the greedy little trolls, were stuck at 52% and not a penny less.
It’s the luxury tax abuse/advantage, not the BRI split, which is important to the small market fans.
King David intimates that the owners position will stiffen now, with the loss of a month of the season, to try to make up losses.
Let’s hope they stiffen their position on contract issues, like the luxury tax advantage/abuse.
Jazzaholic
Welcome back Ben. Hilarious as always. You may not have asked for it, but here’s my take on the lockout anyway:
Owners will never cave. Fair or not, owners will also win the the PR battle. How many more interviews will there be with players that defiantly claim they will not give in because “they saved their money this year since they knew the lockout could happen”, and “learning to budget has been humbling”. Fans can’t relate to players making more in one week than they will in one year and talking about how humbling this experience has been.
I actually think the owners deserve the blame. The system is broken because they always pay good players superstar money (see: AK 47, Rashard Lewis, Gilbert Arenas, etc.) They need a system to protect themselves from killing their franchises because of their own stupid decisions. Granted some of that is small market teams overpaying so they don’t lose their “good” players (see: AK 47). Only the Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwight Howards of the world should be getting a max contract, and salaries should go down from there.
Having said all that, as a Jazz fan, I support what is best long-term for the Jazz and other small market teams.