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my ten bold prediction for the jazz next season
Posted by: David on July 27th, 2010
The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.10.ak will be back his blocking skills
9. Jazz will trade for Matthews
8.Bell Will Attack Kobe Again
7.DWill will improve
6. price will be in the dunk contest
5.gaines will score a other game winner
4.williams will lead the nba in assits
3.they will improve by 5 wins next season
2. Williams will be in 3rd in mvp voting
1.they will be back in western conference championship vs
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10. Mehmet will play limited minutes in the season opener, but play well
9. Al Jefferson will average 25/12
8. Raja Bell will hit 50% from downtown
7. Hayward will start 30+ games
6. Deron, Millsap, and Jefferson will get All-Star consideration/ hype.
5. Hayward will look good in the rookie/sophomore game
4. Jazz will win 13+ in a row
3. I’ll copy your DWill=assist leader in NBA
2. AK gets traded in January
1. Jazz get to conference finals
Those really are some BOLD predictions.
I predict that 4 of the 10 will happen.
I agree with JC on a couple things:
10. DWill assist leader in NBA
9. AK gets traded in January
8. Jefferson will average 25/12
7. Jazz will win 13+ in a row
6. Hayward will start 10 games
5. Jazz will improve by 6 games next year
4. We will sweep the Bulls
3. No injurys other than Memo’s current one
2. Hayward will gain 15 lbs
1. Jazz get to conference finals
Bold to the bold bold. I got a good laugh out of it, thanks Dave.
10. AK will have a bigger role and flourish offensively and defensively
9. No we replaced Matthews, I’d rather have Bell and his contract is cheaper
8. Hopefully, just not literally
7. This new roster is better for Deron
6. No the NBA doesn’t want the Jazz to have publicity
5. Gaines can contribute if he can work on free throws, turnovers
4. Deron has as good a chance as anyone
3. Improve by 5-8 wins
2. 3rd in voting behind Durant and Kobe
1. We can make it to the conference finals
10. Jazz will be the 3rd seed in the Western Conference
9. AJ will average 25/12
8. Ak gets traded in January (Nets)
7. Hayward will start 10+ games
6. Deron and Al will be all-stars(Milsap considered)
5. Deron will lead the league in assits
4. CJ will average 15/7
3. Deron will be top 4 in MVP voting
2. Jazz will improve 6-8 games
1. Jazz will make it to the Conference Finals
@Koste, if the Jazz are going to improve their season by 6-8 games, it’s almost impossible that they will be less than the 2 seed. The Thunder, which is the team that everyone sees as the only other team to be above the Jazz, (besides the Lakers) would have to improve 9-11 games to be tied with the Jazz’s improvement of 6-8 games. That would be 59-61 win season. The Lakers didn’t have a 60 win season last year. I don’t mind the bold predictions, but lets have some logic with this. Don’t make 2 predictions that have an obvious possible confliction.
@David…if #8 happens, it will instantly become my favorite sports moment of the year.
@JC (Jared)…if all of your predictions come true, I will buy you a case of beer and we’ll drink it together while watching the conference finals.
@Chusmer…your prediction #3 might be the most important of any of these…and also the least possible (but it’s worth hoping).
Oh, and be the way, if the Thunder did get the second or third seed, the Jazz would be 4th as best, because of divisional winners.
10:AJ averages 25/12 and becomes all-star
9:D-Will leads league in assists, starts all-star game
8:Millsap averages 15-18/10 and is considered for all-star
7:Hayward steps into starting role midway through season
6:Miles/Bell (whoever doesn’t start) wins 6th man
5:AK gets traded on trade deadline
4:D-Will All-NBA 1st team, AJ All-NBA 2nd or 3rd, Hayward All-rookie 1st
3:Jazz get 2nd seed in the west
2:Jazz beat Lakers in playoffs
1:I’ll be the first to predict that the jazz make it to the Finals, and i say it’ll be against the Bulls(sorry, the Chicago Jazz)
Why does everyone think we’ll trade AK? Guys like him are very hard to come by and at his best, he can have more positive influence on a game than even Deron.
also @Gerald, you’re wrong because there are only 3 divisions in the west, and 4 “top-spots” that allow home-court advantage at least once in the playoffs, which allows two teams from at least one division to sneak in there last year, it was L.A. and Phoenix from the pacific, the year before, it was, Denver and Portland from northwest, before that it was san antonio, and new orleans from southwest, this year, i’m sure, it’ll be us and okc from northwest getting two of those spots
I’m sorry but I don’t think the Jazz are dumb enough to let AK go. He is returning to old form and is a rare player. he is on his last year of contract and has said he will resign for less money. It’s too hard to find players like him.
If the Jazz trade him I will have a very hard time watching games. It would be a very very stupid move.
10 Memo returns in january and injured in february
9 AK ends the season with the jazz and resigns for 6 M$
8 Bell averages 13 PPG at 43% FG
7 Hayward averages 15 MPG by december
6 DWill leads the league in assists/turnover ratio
5 Al Jefferson misses 10 games in a row, but AK does replace him successfully
4 The Jazz leads the western conference in assists per game AND blocks per game
3 AK starts the season playing the 3
2 P Millsap make 25 double-doubles in a row
1 The Jazz get rid of the Warriors for the first round of the playoffs
@Gerald The Jazz and Thunder could finish 1 and 2 in the western conference as long as 3 and 4 our the other division winners. Do your research before you bash someone elses post thanks.
@Ryan, I stand corrected about that. I about the divisional winners rule, I guess I didn’t realize it was for the top 4 spots.
@Casey, read the rest of my post. That was only a small segment of the critisim. The rest of what I said was right on. I conceded that I was incorrect about the divisional winner’s rule, that it was for the top 4, not 3. If it was “bashing” I would have insulted them like I see other people do on this site.
@Gerald I actually agree with you and know you weren’t bashing me. Like the post is called these are BOLD predictions, some are more realistic than others.
@Henri – I like your #1 prediction.
@Koste, yeah. Not bashing. Just a little critisim. I think there is only 1 person I would really want to bash on here, because although he sometimes does make a good comment here or there, most of what he says is complete stupidity. And I conceded about being corrected. I was wrong about how the divisional winner’s rule. But yeah, 6-8 more wins and still 3rd in the west, that is way out there.
@Koste / @Gerald – I think criticism is welcome when making bold predictions, ya?
Hey Ger? who is that one person???? I think I speak for a few when I say who is it???? and when you said, “oh, and by the way” that’s usually sarcasm, who says that unless they’re trying to one up. One uppers!
Hey Case, its cool to criticize criticizers right? especially when they’re wrong, right? Am I right or wrong? Cuz if I’m wrong then they’re right? right?
@Champ, not going to tell you who it is. You can speak for yourself and for others, I don’t care. I said “oh, by the way” because I was making another post. Key word you said there was “usually”. It doesn’t mean it’s every time. Which I already answered why I said that. Now, first off, you reading too much into one phrase of my comment is not my problem, and I didn’t have any obligation to explain to you my reasons for saying that. However, being a good sport, I did.
I’m not going to say whether I’m a one upper or not, because you saying that is your oppinion. I haven’t bashed anyone for their opinions, just logical critisim. Like J.C. put, posts like these justify for critisim. But as for you trying to insinuate that I’m a one upper, your comment only makes proof by your reasoning that you are a one upper yourself. So as the great MJK once said “Who are you to wave your finger? You’re so full of it! Eyeballs deep in muddy water. F***ing hypocrite!”
P.S. it’s wasn’t you that I was talking about earlier.
wow Ger, you sound upset. I’m not going to one up you. You just one upped me rightfully so. I’m just relieved it wasn’t me and I’m not going to ask who it is again. So let me guess. Is it Kelton? no offense Kelt, I like your blogs, stirs it up a bit, don’t know what everyone else thinks though.
Oh and what up Kelt if your reading this, been waiting for you to post something. I’m bored, put something good.
@Champ, No. I’m not upset. Just putting things into perspective. But I like how you contradicted yourself, haha. “I’m just relieved it wasn’t me and I’m not going to ask who it is again.” Followed by a little later with, “Is it Kelton?” (And before you go into anything about your comments being sarcasm instead of you contradicting yourself, that only means you are here to attempt to make hostility. You’re not going to get under my skin. And in my opinion that is a pathetic approach. If not, and it was an honest mistake, just admit it, and we’ll move on like gentlemen.) Which, why would you pick him?
Honestly, you come up with some decent posts Champ. But you definitely were bashing me earlier, not anything of my post. I’m sure you obviously read where I admitted my mistake. But to try and call someone a “one upper” is unjustifably judgmental, and just not cool. Although if you think that I one upped you rightfully so, well I guess thanks for the credit.
I really don’t have any negative emotions to anyone on these boards except that one I mentioned earlier. I’m a Jazz fan, and a very objective person. Usually I say things that are obvious to me, sometimes not so obvious to others. I’m not here to judge. Usually when people get upset at my comments are the ones that have a problem with critisim, or feel bad of something they did that is just being pointed out, but can’t admit they were wrong and learn from the experience.
U two need to go see dr. Phil ha ha
@Austin, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. That really is funny.
10. John Stockton announces he will take over Jazz coaching when Jerry steps down.
9. D Will will do what everyone else said, plus being the new world Hotdog eating champion.
8. AJ will do what everyone else said.
7. Raja Bell starts his own talk show midseason, while still managing 14ppg, 5apg, 2spg, 5rpg, and 4clkpg (clotheslining Kobe’s per game)
6. CJ somehow literally lights the ball on fire during a miracle last second shot against the Heat. Jazz win. (Regular season)
5. AK and Memo team up to get Tomic to permanently dye his skin Jazz colors.
4. Millsap gets his All-star mention. Then opens a Baskin Robbins to Allure Karl in being his personal trainer.
3. We still get second see in the west, but Lebron James goes on live tv to tell everyone why he believes he should make the “Decision” about how the whole NBA should be seeded.
2. Champ gets touched by an angel, and becomes the Ronnie Price advisor for Coca Cola, after Price wins the dunk contest. (just a little jesting Champ)
1. After the Jazz win the finals, …….(looking for creative comments.)
Nice Aust, refer us to Dr. Phil. Well there’s no need. I’m wrong Ger, your right. Don’t know what got into me. I would still like to know who that other person is though because maybe I don’t like him either and we can join forces. Your bold with your last predictions, bold.
hey Ger, I just realized we got into over some miss-communication in another blog, the be patient one. Wow, I totally forgot about that, so this is our second run in. It was me this time that started it, I’ll take the hit for this one. Can’t believe you called me a f-in hypocrite though. Wow Ger, yeah we get into it, but at the end we are still Jazz fans, and that will never change. Never.
@Champ, you have that quick lip for sarcasm. It’s ok. No worries again. But that’s the second time your sarcasm has pulled you in the wrong direction when dealing with me.
And Jazz fans? You know it! I’ll have a drink with just about everyone on this board. I think even James said something about if the Jazz got the second seed he was buying drinks for everyone. I think it was for that reason. I could be mistaken.
Although I was quoting the f***ing hypocrite part, you’re right, but your comment by your own logic made you also a one-upper. Really, it’s not a big deal to me. But you know what, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Now as for my predictions, I’m sure you know I was making a joke. Maybe I’ll make an update for it, because I forgot to put something better for AJ.
10) Okur will return to play in the first game of the season, where he will make a game-winning three pointer at the buzzer, while wearing a blind fold
Deron and Big Al will become best buddies on the court and off the court, which will inspire the two to come out with their own clothing line after they both become All-Stars
9) AK will put on 50 lbs before the season, and will dunk over Gasol so hard he will shatter the backboard
7) When the Jazz play the Bulls, Price will dunk on Boozer again, and Hayward will greatly outperform Korver, and all Jazz fans will rest assured that we upgraded in the offseason. A golden statue of KOC will begin to be sculpted
6) Bell will clothesline Kobe in our first meeting with LA, and the Jazz will go on to win the game. Kobe will be too scared and will sit out the remaining 3 games, which will lead to the Jazz sweeping the Lakers this season
5) Hayward will lead the league in 3-point percentage, like Korver did last year, and be a finalist for Rookie of the Year
4) Deron will finish fourth in MVP voting, behind Durant, Kobe, and Fes
3) Millsap will lead the league in rebounds and double-doubles, and if he happens to end up coming off the bench, will win 6th Man of the Year
2) Gerald and Champ will end up becoming the best of pals after all this bickering, and will decide to get Jazz season tickets together, where they will share popcorn and witness one of the greatest Jazz seasons ever
1) The Jazz will win it all
Ah hell I guess when you put 8 next to ), it makes
haha truce then Ger. For now…until we get into it again, which being Jazz fans we will…but hey whats the fun if we don’t. I’ll just be giving you a hard time cuz me and you are cool like that.
Champ, truce? Screw you. I’m loading trebuchets now with greek fire. I’ll make sure I get the first punch in.
Besides we already have Tyson, first off, stealing my idea to have a list of funny predictions. And secondly, he is making fun of us. Actually, you know truce is good for now, so we can gang up on him,
@Gerald
Yeah I stole your idea, but mine are actually funny.
ZING! Looks like I’m a one-upper now!
@Tyson, you didn’t come up with clkpg! You just tried to make it funny in your own way, which was in no way original. You also don’t have D Will being a world hotdog eating champion, and Tomic being permanently dyed Jazz colors! YOU JUST STARTED WAR WITH KIND 1-UPPER! Ratta Tat Tat!
@Gerald
Look man I know you’re gonna ask me to get season tickets with you and Champ, but I couldn’t get between you two. I would totally feel like a third wheel
Tyson, me and Champ are like Entourage season 7. He’s Scott, and I’m E, because I’m so in love with Emmanuelle Chriqui. You’re probably more like Turtle? haha.
I’ll be the neutral judge and say that Gerald’s funny predictions were better. Sorry Tyson.
I’ve never seen that show, Entourage, so I don’t get it. The next time you and Champ are watching it together, maybe you could invite me over to check it out. That is, if I can bring some other people over with me… you know… so I’m not a third wheel
But I did like the idea of Gerald and Champ getting season tickets. It was an entertaining read for me tonight. Thanks for the show guys.
@Adam, I agree. That seasons tickets comment was really funny.
Thanks Adam for judging neutrally.
Oh wait you said Gerald’s were better?
Go to hell Adam
OK Gerald you win. So I am now thinking up 10 more bold predictions that will make Adam !@#$% himself with laughter, so that he will like mine better than yours, and thus crown me champion
Ah hell it bleeped out part of my post. How about this:
“I am now thinking up 10 more bold predictions that will make Adam pee himself with laughter, so that he will like mine better than yours, and thus crown me champion”
I look forward to this. I like these predictions
Just don’t try too hard, Tyson. It may end up making it worse. Be smooth and natural.
C’mon guys … 30 more replies and you’ll have the record of the most-commented post !
In the meantime, let me make a few statements about the original post here.
10- I hope AK stays healthy. A healthy AK is a deadly weapon for the Jazz. They don’t trade him
9- Jazz won’t trade for Matthews. If they were interested in that, they would’ve matched his contract
8- Bell will attack Kobe. Ha. Funny. I think he’s over that though
7- Deron will improve. That’s not really a bold prediction
6- Price in the dunk contest? Don’t think so
5- Gaines could score another game winner. He’ll have to make huge strides to be trusted as a 4th quarter presence, though, so I say no
4- I think Williams will be near the top in the assist column. Wouldn’t be surprised if he was number one
3- Improve by 5 games? Could happen. I think we’ll land in the same general area with 50-55 wins. Upper 50’s with almost 60 wins might be stretching it a little too far
2- D-Will 3rd in the MVP voting? With all due respect to D-Will, I think that is a stretch as well
1- Western Conference championship? I predict a 2nd round exit in which we actually put up a fight. This will be a great transiting year for the Jazz, but I don’t think we’ve quite made it yet like many Jazz fans think. I think we end up matching up against Dallas in round 2 and they oust us, getting their ticket to the WCF
Well, the current record for most commented post was one that me and Andrew set by talking back and forth the whole day. I kinda like that record where it is.
Henri? Dude, I think if it was you, Champ, and myself, we could get there. No problem. Also, Update
10. John Stockton announces he will take over Jazz coaching when Jerry steps down. When he takes over, he recruits a girl from when he coached little girl’s basketball to be the star Small Forward.
8. AJ will do what everyone else said. 25/12, all-star, but also will travel back in time to be the heir of all the previous Chuck Norris jokes. “Jordan didn’t earn any Championships. Just loaned to Jordan while AJ was going pee.”
nice update gerald. Tyson has a huge task in front of him if he is going to beat out your 10.
playing off the number 10 on a serious note, I’ve always had the opinion that someone from our past would be the perfect successor to Sloan. Not John Stockton, but Jeff Hornacek. I think Hornacek has coach written all over him. Although at this point I’m almost convinced that Sloan will coach the Jazz for the next 100 years. He’ll still be our coach at age 160.
currently this post is 3rd place in the most comments category and is closing in on 2nd place. I just checked out most views, and this made the first page of most viewed, but is in a mere 8th place. The most viewed post has almost 5,000 and it is the one about our backup point guard situation. There is some ground that needs to be covered as far as views go. This one doesn’t even have 2,000.
upgrade of my tenth comment (too sad):
10 Gerald, Champ and Adam discover a youthfulness elixir they pour in Jerry’s bottle of water during a time out, taking advantage of their proximity to Utah’s bench due to their lower bowl season ticket. Jerry coaches up to 160, and then retires to run the marathon in the 5Oth Olympics to be held on the Moon. Of course, he wons the title.
Well here goes nothing:
10) The Jazz will use their trade exception to acquire Ronnie Brewer from the Bulls, when they realize that what they have been missing all this time is someone that can fuel up with chocolate milk
9) The Jazz will finally acquire Tomic mid-season, when they offer him 14 bologna sandwiches
8} Fes will set a record for the most baskets scored in one game in the other team’s hoop. Some Jazz fans will continue to say, “Sloan just needs to give him more playing time.” Meanwhile, sales of Fes’ jersey skyrocket amongst fans of opposing teams
7) The Jazz will be involved in a multi-team trade, giving up Millsap, AK, and Hayward for Greg Ostertag. Ostertag has donated his other kidney and has become part machine, making him extremely durable, yet even more lead-footed than he was before (if that’s possible). He also has become friends with Robocop
6) The Jazz beat the Heat in a close thriller, but then LeBron calls for a two hour special on KJZZ to say that it didn’t count. Millions of Utahns are outraged, because they couldn’t watch reruns of The Office
5) Okur’s recovery will be like the kid from the 1993 blockbuster film “Rookie of the Year.” His achilles tendon will have become inhumanly strong, allowing him to jump twice as high and run twice as fast, as well as shoot the ball twice as well and block twice as many shots. He will also dance to “The Macarena” for half time entertainment
4) Karl Malone will crash his semi into ESA during a critical moment, causing the opposing team to miss a clutch free throw. He will then complain that it got his boots dirty, and will only stop complaining in order to finish eating his Hardees combo meal
3) The Jazz @ Knicks game will be canceled, due to a boxing match at Madison Square Garden: “Russell versus Jordan II: The Push-Off Revisited”
2) In a crucial game at ESA, Sloan will get ejected after two techs, Phil Johnson will have called in sick, and Frank Layden will be nowhere to be found. Greg Miller will call up Adam from the Jazz360 site, and put all of his trust into him. Clad in dragon-scale battle armor, Adam leads the Jazz to an epic victory, and gets a high-five from the Bear. The sold-out crowd at ESA goes wild
1) In game 7 of the NBA Finals against the Wizards, Deron, Sundiata, and CJ will perform a seance to bring the Big Dog Antoine Carr back from the dead to lead them in their last hope for victory. The Big Dog barks “Show me the title!” into a megaphone, summoning the dog from the 1959 Disney hit “Shaggy Dog” which helps him to a quadruple double as the Jazz win by 45
Henri, if I was using that elixir on Jerry, then I would have to use it on Malone also. I didn’t chose Stockton because we have DWILL, even though DWILL will probably never get close to Stocktons records. But more for our need of power in the post/paint. Besides, Champ, Adam, and myself only made limited doses before we got drunk, and couldn’t remember the formula. I mean I need it for myself and my beloved Emmanuelle Chriqui. Champ and Adam, they can get old and die. Or recruit my genius again to help them discover the formula again.
Ha! Way to go Tyson! Love it. Sorry Gerald, but he successfully stole your crown. I think me being the coach put it over the top. That was great. The heck with Stockton and Hornacek, I’ll be the next Jazz coach. I know one of the Jazz dancers real well, so she’ll help recruit me.
Adam! How could you fall for cheap tricks like that? Its not unbiased anymore! You are excused as judge by fact that Tyson includes you in his comedy.
Boo-yah! Take that Gerald! My pal Adam has spoken! He likes my lame jokes better than yours now! Hey Adam you wanna get season tickets with me? You’re buyin’!
Ok, that’s fair. Now someone else needs to come be judge because Tyson’s new post caught me by surprise. I did like the other 9 as well. Maybe we call it a tie and all go home happy.
Oh, and by the way, I’ll take credit for posting this 62nd comment and officially putting this post into 2nd place in the most commented post record.
Shoot, Tyson. You beat me to the 62nd post, so I take back that last comment. Lets go get season tickets. Maybe my awesome game coaching will get me enough money to do so.
Yeah, let’s call it a tie, that way we can all be pals. And we can all get season tickets together and share popcorn
And together we will witness the Jazz beating the Wizards in the Finals. Does this mean John Wall gets the Rookie of the Year award?
Wall will be runner-up. Jeremy Evans will win, obviously
I’m gonna call this a night, though. I’ll check back in after I attempt to get a good nights rest. Peace Out!
If Jazz beat the Wizards, then it has to be Hayward.
11. Hayward, under his pretty boy disguise, is really a genetic crossbreed between The Hulk and Bill Russell. Ends up breaking John Wall’s pinky and claims ROY.
I think I am quite unbiased here, but I think unless Gerald upgrades his upgraded version, Tyson is the winner of the contest.
We are not close to the record (and I know I have the advantage of not being sleepy as it is noon here), so maybe to break it and let Gerald answer, I can make some misspellings … Gordan Hayword, Derun … C’mon Ger !
I meant “we are not far”, but Gerald corrected it yet (ha)
GORDON! HAYWARD! GET IT RIGHT!
DERON! WILLIAMS! I mean come on. Am I working with the French here? OH! hahahahahahaha
Henri, yeah you might have the advantage of time difference, but I have insomnia. Oh, how glorious I am. haha.
And also I didn’t really upgrade my version yet. It was just a minor update of what I wanted to put earlier.
OK … waiting for the upupupgraded top ten … and the record !
Wow Ty, Wow! I feel some underlying gay tones there in your comments, third wheel, watching shows together and such. I will tell you I do not want Tyson’s meat but I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there that do. And your no third wheel, and again I assure you no one I know wants to try Tyson’s meat. Though I’m sure its rich in protein. haha!
I’m late getting into this so am I supposed to be cool with Tyson? Am I late? we cool already Ty?, Ger get it straightened out already? We had our issues too. How about Henri? Adam? kelton? are we all getting into it? Whos friend whos foe?
Well as of right now, I think we are all friends. Kelton has yet to comment on this thread, so he isn’t in the conversation. However, I don’t think Kelton is the one referred to earlier. He does make good comments. If I were to make a guess, I would say that the one guy that Gerald was talking about is the guy that makes no attempt whatsoever to use grammer or punctuation correctly and who’s statements hardly make any sense. But I can’t say for sure. Haven’t yet received the talent of mind reading.
Oh, and we are now one comment away from tying the record. I guess if there was a post that is going to the record set by me and Andrew, at least I get to be a part of it. Break my own record and thus be in both of the top two most commented.
Wow, thanks Adam, I’m caught up. Guess it’s the punctuation guy huh…What up kelt! Where you been?
Ok, here is the upgrade to my predictions.
I had a dream. It was more like a vision. It was sent to me by some greater, higher power, for all to know.
10. Millsap replaces all the Jazz Dancers with clones of Will Ferrell to reinact the scenes from Boogie Nights.
9. Because of Gaines, there are man-killing chihuahua’s guarding all ESA doors. We now have free tacos and sombreros at all Jazz home games.
8. AJ will do what everyone else said. 25/12, all-star, but also will travel back in time to be the heir of all the previous Chuck Norris jokes. “Jordan didn’t earn any Championships. Just loaned to Jordan while AJ was going pee.”
7. Raja Bell starts his own talk show midseason, while still managing 14ppg, 5apg, 2spg, 5rpg, and 4clkpg (clotheslining Kobe’s per game)
6. Hornacek comes in to help Hayward. He employs the “bacon & waffles” manuever. But unaware to everyone else, Hayward under his pretty boy disguise, is really a genetic crossbreed between The Hulk and Bill Russell. Ends up breaking John Wall’s pinky by forcefully claiming ROY. (No one stops him because of AJ’s newly witnessed powers.)
5. AK plays like an all-star this season. When asked about how he primed himself to getting back into all-star form, his reply was ‘Memo came up to me before training camp and said “You bring the cornbread, and I’ll bring the b***ches.”‘
4. CJ, after his miracle showing over the Heat, shoots laser beams out of his eyes at DWade, CBosh, and LJames turning them in to Goldfish crackers (Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar.) Beware of hungry children.
3. Fes’s new found religion only gets him into more trouble. His only defense is “Don’t talk to me like you are George Freaking Clooney!” Somehow this is the same statement that chimpmunks make while having sex. Fes is now the father of 900 children.
2. Harry Connick Jr becomes Ronnie Price’s double, and Price absconds to Fiji to marry the only Dairy Queen owner of Mumbi’s daughter. Afterwards, having their honeymoon dancing on the streets of Champs-Élysées
1. During the finals, D Will puts on such a stellar performance (including casting magic spells of impudence on Wall and Arenas), that after the Jazz win, Jerry Sloan announces to everyone that the building was so cold it made his nipples play “Red Light, Green Light.”
I guess now I’ll do the honors of breaking my own record by making the 81st post in this thread and making this the highest commented post on the website. Let’s keep this going and hit 100.
Oh, and you’re welcome champ
dang it, that’s the second time I make a fool out of myself by barely missing the mark. So I didn’t set the record. Oh, well. we can still go for 100.
Yeah, I made a fool of Adam. You need to stop quoting your number. It never works.
that was funny Ger, cornbread and ho*s…haha…folks in Utah don’t speak like that, what’s your source? watching too much mtv raps? haha
Champ, I have never seen MTV raps in my life. I’m a rock person.
Since I got banned from being a judge, now we wait for Henri to judge the new top 10. Where are you Henri? Can I make one request? Can we keep Malorie and Samantha on the Jazz Dancers squad since those are the two that I know personally? Very entertaining. Thanks for the update Gerald.
Ger actually has some humor Adam. I prejudged him when we first met.
Haha! I haven’t either so whats with that language? family guy? I don’t know if that show still exists, I just remembered hearing about it.
I agree that he does. But since I was mentioned in Tyson’s top 10, I’m not allowed to judge to see who’s is better.
And normally naming my number does work. It’s a horrible coincidence that its twice that I said that and someone posted a few seconds before me, while I was typing. I will be more careful. Maybe I’ll brag afterwards next time.
Yes, where is Henri. I made a joke about the French earlier, but I think he left us at that time. I was super late. Or actually really early for us in the US.
Champ, I haven’t really watched Family Guy in years, besides the Star Wars/Family Guy espisode. Which brings me thinking I should have said something about Ewoks.
(Tyson, you can’t take the Ewoks, Chewee, or any Star Wars reference now that I have mentioned it. I would only be cheating.) haha
Henri is in France? I didn’t know we had Jazz fans over in France. Former Utahn I am guessing?
I’m pretty sure Family Guy is still going. Don’t really watch it, though. It normally is on Sundays on Fox. Not sure about the summer though?
Hey before we made truces, I made a comment about Tyson’s meat. Hahaha! who else thought it was funny? If its not then tell me its not, don’t let good lines like that waste fellas.
Hey look, we passed 2000 views. I just found out that every time I hit refresh it goes up one. It would only require me hitting refresh 3000 more times for us to beat that record, too.
Adam, it still is on. My roommate watches it all the time. There are only a couple of things that I watch on tv. I’m not a big tv person, unless its sports.
Champ I got the Tyson’s meat joke. But are you sure he is Chicken? I was thinking more bologne.
The Tyson’s meat joke was funny, so you’re good champ.
You just one upped me again, Ger thanks. And who’s Michael? He has a hundred and one questions to ask. Thought I throw that in there and see what happens.
I thought Family Guy was still on. Champ was the one that actually questioned if it was or not.
NO NO NO Champ. I wasn’t 1-upping you. I was adding to the flavor of your Tyson’s meat, hahaha.
It’s on tbs every weekday. I’ve been watching Seinfeld lately though. If you noticed Adam, Ger one upped with his spin on it.
Michael just seems like a guy who enjoys creating posts and seeing if they get popular. Personally I prefer making comments more than making posts. A bunch of repetitious posts gets on my nerves sometimes. Maybe Michael is Michael the archangel reincarnated.
Speaking of names, though. I’m surprised the creator of this post hasn’t chimed in at all. I wonder if he even knows that his post is now the most commented post.
alright alright, no ones one upping. So whats with Mike and his questions? I thought he was going to post a blog, “What do you think AK’s favorite color is?” please comment.
Champ, Adam, (Henri, Tyson when the get here) I’ll be back later. I told a friend I would meet them at the lake. I should leave now. Maybe I’ll think of some more funnies later.
I just commented about Mike. He seems like a guy that just likes creating posts.
AK’s favorite color is Fuchsia. Everyone knows that, hahaha. I don’t know maybe Mike is being a dike on a tric.
Yeah Dave started this whole shenanigans, and where’s Kelton, he always has something good to say and about four posts a day. Haha…ok ok I’m done for now. Maybe I’ll pay Mike a visit on his blog.
When you get back, Gerald, you need to have a decision ready as to whether we get to keep Malorie and Samantha on the Jazz Dancers team instead of replacing all of them.
good job dr. phil he fixed the problem between you two. i must asked what he said cause he sure cured the problem
Adam, we’ll discuss. Austin, go down a little and read my upgraded predictions.
Champ, go kick Mike in the butt some for me.
wow! those are some bold predictions haha
Well played, Gerald. I’ve thought of some other funny stuff, but I don’t think I’ll go so far as to create ANOTHER list of 10 things. I’ll probably just throw out random silly (and BOLD) predictions when I think of them
Everyone I’m back.
Welcome back Gerald
Well, as for Malorie, and Samantha, it’s not enough that you know them Adam. First off we are talking about personality, ability to interact with Will Ferrell clones, attractiveness, energy, good heart, and humor. (They get bonus points if they are asian and if they were no underwear.) Seeing neither are asian, there goes those set of bonus points. I watched one of Malories interview, I’m still watching the rest of them now. I’m only leaning toward a yes because reinacting Boogie Nights might have some interaction. And I’m not really sure I want any gay scenes even though I think the Will’s might not be afraid of a little kissy-kiss.
Me knowing Malorie since we were both real young, doesn’t count? She lived only a few blocks away. Ok, that’s fair. Samantha and I went to Junior High together, but I didn’t know her all that well. I guess its better if we select on a neutral basis.
Hey Ger, Adam really gave it to Mike on his Jefferson post, its funny you should check it out. Adam told him what’s up. haha!
yeah, he deserved it. I hope he responds, but something tells me that he isn’t going to say anything else. People that spam this site really shouldn’t be allowed to make new blogs.
I wasn’t digging Samantha. She seems like she has a lot of “air” if you know what I mean. Malorie seems awesome, although it hurts my heart to hear that she has a “fiance.”
I might agree with you on Samantha, but she is a nice girl. Yeah, Malorie has a fiance. His name is TJ. He plays rugby for BYU and is a really cool guy. Only met him a couple of times, though. On August 14th, that status of fiance will be upgraded to husband.
August 14 will be a day of heartbreak. I don’t know. Maybe we should have a group of Ewoks too.
If you want I could contact her and inform her that she has her own Malorie fan group on UtahJazz360. I’m sure she would be touched.
She is a cool girl.
Adam, you do that. I kind of want to start a blog on here claiming about the Malorie fangroup, although fear of being deemed in the same concept as the infamous Michael, I might hold off for a moment seeing as I just made a blog. We can put up the videos and everything.
That sounds like a wonderful idea. But yeah, maybe wait till like tomorrow, then start it up. We can make it huge here. Then the next time I see her logged on in facebook, I’ll tell her about it.
You know it. Well post her interview vids, and pics. Give links to her facebook, hahahahaha. We’ll make her a star
Now I am excited to get this going. This’ll be way fun.
Sorry guys I left the conversation during your afternoon because as you guessed it was my night ! Just swith on my computer and discovered we had the record. WOW ! I will be somewhat coward (or cerebrally weak) and say Tyson and Gerald are tied. Gerald is still number one in misspelling checking championship.
To answer on of your question: I am french living in France. I know it seems a little bit strange but let me comment you the point: I became a Jazz fan when I was in SLC for professional reasons in november 2007 and took on the occasion to be at the Jazz-Cavs game this year. This was my first NBA game live experience. I think Jazz basketball looks very much like our european conception of the game … or is it because Sloan influenced us over the past 22 Years ? I follow the games at decent times (usually games begin at 4 AM here !) on my computer with international pass. I will have the occasion to come back this fall, again for my job … hoping the Jazz won’t be on the road at this moment !
Nice Henri, I like that story. I’ve always wanted to go to France one day. Maybe I’ll make it over.
So anyway, I don’t know if you realized this or not, but Gerald started a break off of this thread earlier all about the funny predictions. You should come check it out.