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Pray for Opposite Year
Posted by: Jimmy Bragg on December 7th, 2010
The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.This post is about predictability…I’ll bet none of you guessed it either. I have been and continue to be confused and perplexed when it comes time to trying to predict what this Jazz team is going to do. It’s almost as if this team is the opposite of every Jazz team since 2002 or so.
You only have to look as far as what we are now calling “the road trip” to see what I mean. The “normal” Jazz team would have dropped at least three out of the four games against Miami, Orlando, Atlanta, and Charlotte. This is why most Jazz fans were so amazed and impressed when they came home a perfect 4-0.
Since I am a huge fan of lists, I have decided to compile a list of what would happen this year if this actually was an “opposite” year…and here it is:
- Andre Kirilenko would make it a whole 82 games plus the playoffs without an injury. This includes the back spasm/sprained finger/strained calf muscle injuries we have come to know too well lately.
- Paul Millsap would be able to draw more fouls down low. Seriously? When is the whole “no-call Paul” nickname be a thing of the past?
- Paul Millsap will hit his free throws. Now, this has been tons better lately, but I’m still waiting for the Malone-esque change that his free throws need.
- Jerry Sloan wins Coach of the…actually, never mind, even in “opposite year” this would probably never happen.
- The Jazz will make a huge trade midyear that instantly makes them a contender.
- I will catch one of those Taco Bell parachutes. I’ve come so close so many times, that it’s really not about the t-shirt anymore.
- The Jazz would call “whoopsy” on the horrible idea of putting “UTAH” on the uniform butts and immediately remake every player’s shorts.
- Kobe or Pau will go down with a significant injury and miss considerable time this year. I don’t really want any player to get hurt (well, that’s not entirely true), but doesn’t it seem like the Lakers never have problems?
- Gordon Hayward will get into the rotation, win Rookie of the Year, and prove that he was worth the number nine pick in the NBA draft.
- Deron would be really nice and genuine to all Jazz fans at all of his public appearances.
- There wouldn’t be any Laker jerseys at the ESA at any time during the season.
- There would be a ton of Clipper jerseys at the ESA throughout the season.
- CJ Miles would win Sixth Man of the Year after consistently scoring 20+ points a game.
- Agents across the country would jam the Jazz phone lines trying to get their clients on the team.
- Dick Bavetta would publicly apologize to the Jazz organization and all Jazz fans for screwing them out of a championship.
- Karl Malone would come out of retirement to back up Jefferson/Millsap.
- The Jazz would sweep the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals and go on to beat the Celtics to become 2010-2011 NBA Champions.
So…let’s all cross our fingers and say a silent prayer for opposite year to happen.
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One Response
I liked the post overall, but i disagree with you BIG TIME that they need to remove UTAH from the shorts. Should we just pretend that they don’t represent the State? That’s the only thing on the jersey that mentions where they are from.