Posted by: Jimmy Bragg on February 22nd, 2011The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.
I don’t consider myself a violent person, but what I have been watching the last month or so makes me want to commit unspeakable acts. I really am beyond pinpointing the reasons we are losing or why Jerry left or what happened to Millsap’s game.
Long story short…I am angry. Should I be angry? I don’t know. It could be the product of unrealistic expectations for the year or I could just be an angry person by nature. (By the way, I HATE the word “nature”…and the word “word.”)
So, now I will resort to the only way I think that will give me the cathartic release that I need. I will make a list; a list that contains all of the anger, frustration and irritation I am feeling at this moment.
Here is a list of things I want to punch in the face:
- Matt Harpring’s fry sauce.
- Focus hats.
- Andre Kirilenko’s ankle, calf, and back.
- Carlos Boozer’s ego.
- Carlos Boozer’s ex-wife.
- Craig Bolerjack’s seatbelt.
- Mehmet Okur’s money, achilles tendon, and back.
- Ty Corbin’s mustache.
- Kevin O’Conner for Eric Maynor, Mo Williams, Sasha Pavlovic, Curtis Borchardt, Kirk Snyder, Kris Humphries, Robert Whaley, DeShawn Stevensen and Morris Almond.
- Raja Bell for leaving.
- Raja Bell for coming back.
- Scott Layden’s accent.
- Allen Handy.
- Allen Handy’s hair.
- Tom Kirkland’s hair.
- Les Olson.
- Les Olson’s company.
- Morgan Jeweler diamonds.
- Ben Bagley.
- Dell Schanze.
- Kobe Bryant.
- Kobe Bryant’s All-star MVPs.
- CJ Miles’ inconsistency.
- Fesenko’s jokes.
- DWill’s PR guy.
- The “Stop the Rock” song.
- The author of the “Stop the Rock” song.
- Crown Burger.
- Wesley Mathews.
- The Portland Trailblazers.
- The Clippers for matching the Maggette offer.
- Jerry Sloan’s hats.
- Michael Jordan.
- Michael Jordan’s Hall of Fame speech.
- The guy who decided to make the Jazz pajama pants the “item of the night.”
- All of the people who have suite tickets.
- The Knicks #9 pick.
- The hot dog I have to pay $6.50 for at the game that looks conspicuously like the same one I can buy at Maverick for $1.50.
- The inversion.
- AK’s new hairdo (bring back the Kirilenko Mohawk).
- Wet toilet seats.
- The Pesky Timberwolves.
- Losses at home.
Hopefully reading this list has given you the peace and serenity that you need. If this season continues on the path it entered long ago, it will take some time to get over.
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