The Grinchs That Stole The NBA

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The Grinchs That Stole The NBA

Posted by: Colby on November 27th, 2011

The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of the Utah Jazz.

Every Fan
Down in Fan-ville
Liked NBA a lot…

But the Grinchs,
the 1%ers,
Did NOT!

The Grinchs hated NBA! The whole B-Ball season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their heads weren’t screwed on quite right.
It could be their Rolex’s were put on too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their management skills were two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Their hearts or the bands,
They stood there in July, hating the Fans,
Staring down from their choppers with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm hearted bloggers below in their town.
For they knew every Fan down in Fan-ville beneath
Was busy now blogging and tweeting their grief.

“They can watch Football” they snarled with a sneer.
“Now where’s my private jet!? It should be right here!”
Then they argued in meetings, fingers nervously drumming,
“WE MUST find a way to keep MONEY coming!”

“HIGHER Taxes,Melo Rules and lower Percentage”
“NO SIGN AND TRADES and LOWER MID LEVEL EXCEPTIONS!”
“We’ve given enough!” The players would say!
“Well you better take this 50 or we walk away”

The Fans and the workers, felt they had no voice
but sadly they knew….they had not a choice
And they’d FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, rare as it was
“Are you meeting tomorrow? “No” “Why?” “Because”

In the rare meetings, writers “sources” cried “Hope”
Brousard and Aldridge and Checketts…that dope
They’d Tweet “according to sources, there is PROGRESS and HOPE!”
But after 13 hours both sides would say “Nope”
And while Dirk was still waiting to put on his ring(or bracelet or anklet, Cubans new thing)
The more the Players thought, “WE must stop this whole thing!
“Why all these months have we put up with it now!
We must stop all of this
…But HOW?”

And THEN
They’d do something fans liked least of all!
The Players filled lawsuits against BIG markets and small
The ones who wore shirts, printed with “STAND”
Finally voted that they would disband

The last shred of hope, of saving the season
died on that day….why even care? There was no reason
But right before Thanksgiving,there came a surprise!
THE SPONSORS stepped in to throw rocks at the hive
“Now you settle this quick! For we’re losing cash!”
“We don’t care how! Just settle it fast!”

So they met real quick, just on a whim
No Fisher or Hunter….but of course Kessler called in
Under such pressure, for a Christmas deadline to meet
Could they? Would they!?!? accomplish this feat!?!

As the fans waited, with false hope and a fright
The Grinchs sanity grew TEN TIMES in one night!!
Then at 3 in the morn, an old tweet had come true
“Lookin like a season…………How U?”

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